Gooner With The Drag Queen Tattoo? How Democrats Became The Party Of Literal Nazis
Filed under: DEATH OF SATIRE
Timing is everything. Voter registration ended in Maine on Tuesday, and then right on schedule, the GOP information machine began to let disgusting Graham Platner stories plop.
By the end of the Democratic Party primary on 9 June 2026, three weeks hence, Maine Democrats will know far too much about Graham Platner’s porta-john habits, his opinions on the Virgin Mary, and his di*k art as “P-Hustle” to deny an understanding of what he really is.
Because this story splattered across social media first, every influencer who has endorsed Platner had an opportunity to double-down for 24 hours, defend him, and claim that his dirty Reddit posts make him relatable. The ones with military service resumes were the loudest.
The next morning, on Wednesday, the Washington Free Beacon dropped video of Platner spewing verbal diarrhea on the late “American Sniper” Chris Kyle in an appearance on the Green Beret Chronicle Show. Unlike Platner’s ‘relatable’ gross stories, his story about Kyle is simply gross, and alienating to veterans.
Platner served in Ramadi around the same time as Kyle, a US Navy SEAL. This battle in 2006 is considered one of the bloodiest of the Iraq War. Unlike Kyle, Platner did not serve in an elite unit. In his 2025 interview, however, Platner criticized Task Unit Bruiser and Chris Kyle for winning too hard.
“It’s relatively easy to get high [kill] numbers like that if you’re a little less discriminating in your fire than, say, a more professional unit would be”, Platner remarked.
He claimed that Task Force Bruiser had shot unarmed civilians, presenting no evidence, and questioned whether they were “heroes,” calling it “a weird practical joke” that Kyle was regarded as a “paragon of leadership”.
Context matters. In 2014, Platner praised a Hamas video of a deadly cross-border raid on an IDF base as “a damn fine looking and successful raid against a superior opponent”.
In 2019, Platner criticized an American soldier who was shot by Taliban fighters on video for being a “fumb motherf—er” who “didn't deserve to live. At least his stupidity and fat ass wheezing are available for all future infantrymen to witness and hold in contempt.”
Remember the “locker room talk” Access Hollywood controversy? Platner’s shithouse talk has revealed a side that will surely appeal to female voters, especially military wives. From the Daily Wire yesterday.
Maine Democrat Senate candidate Graham Platner once lamented the closing of a loophole that allowed military contractors to save money on taxes by spending their time off “banging hookers in Thailand” instead of getting “b*tched” at by their wives back in the United States.
“Spend your leave banging hookers in Thailand instead of getting b*tched at by the wife back home, and you could sell it as avoiding federal income tax,” Platner wrote on Reddit in June 2019. “Once the Afghans started using our paychecks as a personal piggy bank, that whole loophole disappeared.”
Sources in The Right Wing™ inform me that this drip-dropping of P-Hustle nincompoopery shall continue for the next three weeks. They tell me much worse is coming.
The Republican plan is obvious. Come the general election, Susan Collins and the GOP will throw a fire blanket over the media, digital and local, to remind voters of the Graham Plopner files. She will destroy him by ten points. So goes the theory. We are witnesses to its application in practice (‘practice’).
Endorsements and commitments by Democrats and their influencer cadre will become liabilities. Those people will of course explain defeat by invoking a conspiracy involving AIPAC and The Zionist Occupation Government™.
Thomas Massie wanted voters to believe that Jews have controlled the world for hundreds of years, but also that re-electing an incumbent Congressman in a Kentucky primary would have ended the Zionist project forever.
Massie wanted voters to believe that thousands of powerful people who run the world are in The Epstein Files™, but also that burdening the Department of Justice with unnecessary paperwork would have brought thousands of the world’s most powerful people to justice.
Now Massie wants his faithful to believe that he won a moral victory by way of defeat. “I would have come out sooner, but I had to call my opponent to concede and it took a while to find him in Tel Aviv”, Massie said in his concession speech.
Massey could lose dozens of times to the Israel lobby, just like the Arab resistance loses to Israel, and still call it a moral victory, just like the Arab resistance does whenever they lose to the IDF.
Election experts like Hasan Piker, Ana Kasparian, Glenn Greenwald, Jill Stein, and Adam Kinzinger have all declared the election stolen with Jewish money. The fact that so many prominent anti-Israel luminaries associated with The Left™ were so excited by Massie and are so angry that he lost completely explains why and how Massie lost.
For those of us who are old enough to remember when election denial was the worst possible violation of norms and literal treason, this is all very rich.
Foreign affairs are the lowest tier of concerns in American voter polling. Hardly anyone in America decides their vote on foreign affairs. (Hardly anyone but Islamists, of course.) AIPAC has tried to stop Massey multiple times. This time was not different because they tried harder.
Massie built a constituency in Kentucky during his time in office, but Israel was never a major voter concern in the bluegrass state. Epstein class warfare was not what his constituents elected him to do, either. Conservative voters did not ask for Massey to become what he is, and now they have shown him the door.
Massie fans refuse to accept this because blaming Jews (‘the Epstein class’) makes bitter defeat feel like moral victory.
Democrats are very excited by Zohran Mamdani. He just became the first mayor of New York to skip the Israel Day Parade in 61 years. Not by coincidence, he has started to consciously mimic Franklin Delano Roosevelt ordering the Japanese into the camps while Islamists protest outside synagogues.
Nothing to see here, voters, stop noticing. It’s racist to notice.
Democratic congressional candidate Maureen Galindo wants to “turn Karnes ICE Detention Center into a prison for American Zionists and former ICE officers for human trafficking”. On Instagram this weekend, she announced that “It will also be a castration processing center for pedophiles, which will probably be most of the Zionists.”
“The billionaire Zionists that control San Antonio and South Texas trafficking networks have coordinated a blitz campaign to propagate the conspiracy that anti-Zionist Maureen Galindo wants Jews in warehouses”, Galindo later updated. Like Hamas, Galindo wants to prosecute a genocidal war on Jews while gaslighting the world that Jews are genociding them.
Galindo has campaigned on putting former Bexar County Public Information Officer Johnny Garcia, her Republican opponent to represent the 35th District of Texas, on trial for treason. She accuses him of running a massive Epstein-style human trafficking network.
Unlike Platner and Massie and Mamdani, Maureen Galindo does not have many big endorsements. Some Congressional Democrats have openly condemned her candidacy.
She is however the candidate chosen by the Democratic Party’s primary voters in a district that leaned Democratic even after the state’s redistricting. She might just make it to Congress. They might just be stuck with her.
If Platner also succeeds, there will be two ‘anti-Zionist’ Nazis in Congress, both Democrats. This is the new diversity they have included in their coalition. Their intentions against Zionism (read: Jews) are equity for the imaginary genocide of Gaza.
But you are not supposed to notice any of this, because noticing is white supremacy.
We are not meant to notice that the Los Angeles Islamic center shooters this week shared the same hatred of Jews and love of Nazis for hating Jews as the security guard who died to stop them. They shared the same hate.
Noticing that they agreed on everything, including their mutual antagonism, would be a phobia, a pathological hatred and fear of The Other™. Literal fascism. Nazi tattoos are not fascism because Graham Plopner is a changed man. He has become a Communist. We have to elect him so we can turn the migration flow back on and open the borders, otherwise the literal Nazis will win.
We are not allowed to notice the grooming gangs in the UK, the absurdly high rates of rape perpetrated by Middle Eastern men against European women, the child brides in Afghanistan, or the practice of polygamy being tolerated in American cities, or Canadian schools enforcing Ramadan and halal standards on non-Muslim students.
To notice this pattern would be cisheteropatriarchy. See what I did there?
I have noticed something about guys like Graham Plopner, by the way. He has a certain oozing performativity in his masculinity. He gives off a gooner glow. Dollars to donuts, there is a skeleton masturbating in his closet while wearing his wife’s clothes.
I detect potential paraphilia problems.
Sexual fetishes are strongly correlated with habitual boundary violation: non-consent, coercion, and the exploitation of other people.
A possible example of the potential skeletons in Platner’s closet, one which is actively encouraged and celebrated in progressive politics, would be autogynephilia, or AGP.
Hypermasculinity is associated with both phenomena. Military service veteran males are some of the most intense cases of AGP.
Rational heterosexual men suffering from intrusive desire to cross-dress and perform femininity are not generally dangerous. However, AGP males who lack an internal locus of control are some of the most intrusive voyeurs as well as the most entitled sex pests in the world.
Men will kill to protect what they love. Tyler Robinson, the man charged in the assassin of Charlie Kirk, appears to be a gynoandromorphophile, or GAMP. I also would not be shocked if Platner turned out to be a gynoandromorphophile.
GAMPs love men who look like women, whereas AGPs have a romantic relationship with the pornified woman that they see in the mirror. If Platner is a GAMP, we are likely to see stories alleging sexual interest in ‘ladyboys’. He does seem to like Thailand, which is famous for them.
Note that I am not an expert on these topics, just an informed reader. I don’t have access to the Republican dirt files on Platner. I am just saying that drag stories would not surprise me. Ladyboys and closeted queening would fail to shock me. Nothing will shock me, not even a second act as Gina Platner, the port-a-potty princess.
Absurdities abound. A fursuit looms too. I am only noticing and speculating with hypotheticals. “Graham Platner, do you still have to masturbate when you see porta-potties?” All we are doing here is asking questions. Video via Townhall.
Of course, noticing those things, if they do emerge from the porta-potty inside Graham Plopner’s proverbial closet, will be an act of kink-shaming. Noticing them is a human rights violation that makes you a literal Nazi.
If the reader thinks that literal tattooed Nazis would never wear drag, they are sorely mistaken.
So many literal Nazis wore drag and took pictures of themselves in drag that there is an entire book of photography of literal Nazis in drag, and some of them probably even had Totenkopf tattoos.
Lacking a crystal ball, I can only speculate upon the rivers of excremental revelations to come in the days ahead. The heroization of Graham Platner is inauthentic, which is why he attacks the authenticity of more successful warriors; he is acutely conscious that the most consequential thing he did as a Marine was get that ‘literal Nazi’ tattoo.
We have probably only seen the beginning of the … dirt …. that Republicans collected in advance of the deadline to register as a voter in Maine. Negative information has limited effects, however, especially when voter ideology (‘destroy Zionism’/MAGA) is strong.
My best forecast information is the poll published this week, but taken before voting registration closed, that shows Collins 7 points behind Platner. It is very unlikely that this margin holds all the way to November in any case. Early polling is volatile and there is plenty of poop yet to plop. The objective of Republican operatives in Maine is to make Graham Plopner clips and memes all the way to November.
If that 7-point margin does hold until November, and the Maine voter rushes to the polls in relief, Republicans will lose a Senate seat while the Queers for Palestine coalition gains one, and Democrats shall become the new home of anti-Israel party poopers.
The Plopner porta-potty parade would then arrive in Washington just in time for Bibi Netanyahu and Trump to make a big show of ending the old aid programs. Party pooped!
Literal fascists, the Plopner Democrats will declare. Not good enough. We must give our genocidal urges greater relief.
Sen. Ron Paul of Kentucky and his rather, former Rep. Rand Paul of Texas, opposed Israel aid programs for the same reason they opposed all aid programs. Thomas Massie represented this form of conservative isolationism and it never hurt him before now. There was no sudden burst of Israel-support in Kentucky. There was a collapse of support for Thomas Massie. Voters became frustrated because he kept making Washington worse.
America’s two party system often conceals more than it reveals. The political horseshoe has become highly polarized towards the left. With Israel as the focus of negative energy, and gender-bending as a marker of political identity, the right-libertarian end of the horseshoe appears to be repelling anti-Semitic elements at the same time. Third Worldism, which is inherently anti-Semitic, motivates the communist contingent of the new Democratic coalition. This political marriage of Islamists and the LGBTQMOUSE resulted from the progressive embrace of intersectionalism. It is the libertarian left getting cozy with a strong, virile partner who shares their abiding interest in anti-Zionism and smashing capitalism (read: killing the Jews). Strange alchemy happens when the revolution (‘No Kings’) is the only issue a party coalition shares.
For if there is one thing that radicals of every stripe can eventually agree on, when they agree on nothing else, it is that the Jew/capitalist is responsible for All The Problems™. Imprisonment and castration are the least they can do to answer the Jewish Question. The pogrom is always progressive by intentions, which are always good intentions. Going full Luigi Mangione on Zionists will make the world a better place, they say, and it is a complete accident that whenever this formula gets applied as praxis, it results in genocide of the Jews.
We are not allowed to notice this contradiction.
Shame on you for noticing that Democrats are doing literal Nazi shit. Bigot. You must work for the Epstein class.