in Kulturkampf

Suffering Fools

Remember Alabama’s Ten Commandments judge? Well, he’s made it official: he’ll be running for governor again next year. His website is now up bearing an endorsement from fellow Kulturkampfer James Dobson. “Leadership you can trust,” the tagline reads. There’s a nifty video on the page, if you can stand a few minutes of Teh Wacky™.
One observer at Doc’s Political Parlor described Moore’s hat-in-the-ring speech as 45 seconds about the economy, 45 seconds about education, and almost five minutes about morality. This is what passes for a dream candidate among culture warriors: utter ignorance of real issues, but plenty of Teh Stupid™.

The Culture Wars never really die. Post-Obama, however, they have turned into something like the zombies of a George Romero movie, shambling about spreading chaos to distract America from genuine issues of governance. Oliver Willis does an excellent job laying out the template for bringing Teh Wacky™ mainstream today in How the Right Wing Stovepipe Operates. The Moore candidacy will amount to an enormous distraction effort, stovepiping Teh Crazy™ into Teh Stupid™ — leaving Alabama’s budget crisis unaddressed.

Perhaps it is only coincidence, but I see encouraging signs in the wake of the Tiller assassination: progressives are getting fed up. For beyond the Wacky, Crazy, and Stupid lies a special, lethal zone of the dark side: Teh Murderous™. Yesterday’s shooting seems to have brought everyone on the left across a line. I found this gem over at Leigh’s Bitch, Please blog, which I quote at length:

Before you put me in your crosshairs, though…just remember one thing: not a one of us babykillers have ever killed one of you.

We don’t go into your “Pregnancy Help Centers” and blow them up so you can stop scaring girls into having children they can’t take care of and then forgetting about them and blaming them when they fall through the cracks of the system.

We don’t shoot at your hatemongering pastors as they go into their places of worship, even though we know they’ll be spewing more lies and filth about us and how evil we are and how we deserve to die, even though you all don’t really get the irony of calling yourselves “Pro-Life,” which you are decidedly not.

We don’t block the doors to your doctors’ offices, preventing you from getting your Viagra prescription so you can force your wife to submit to you, as every good Christian woman should.

And we don’t fire your fucking asses for preventing women from obtaining access to medications that are prescribed to them privately, between them and their doctors, that have nothing to do with you, or your religion, or how many babies’ souls you want to save today so you can meet your quota at the next potluck circlejerk.

As much as we want to do all these things right back to you, every time we hear about what you’ve done to further incite this war of your own creation, this civil war of supposed “morality,” we don’t. You know why we don’t turn right back around and fire back at you with the full power of the law and government, which, might we remind you, is on our side here, as is the side of common decency and common sense that says a private medical procedure between a woman and her doctor is none of your fucking business? BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING WRONG, THAT’S WHY. Even a Sunday School dropout abortionist like me knows that–so why don’t you?

And really, we need more of this. Free speech is a wonderful thing; it’s time we unleashed it on the Kulturkampfers systematically and aggressively.

I, for one, am done suffering fools gladly. If they want my respect for their opinion, then they ought to find a respectable opinion.

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  • veralynn

    that was teh Awesome&trade!!

  • Annette

    Great job. You are right that we need to start standing up and speaking out. We need to take lessons from the GOPers, in that regard. Even as few as they are, they still stand together. We can’t seem to agree what day of the week it is.

    I was struck by that yesterday, when John Avarois was blaming Pres. Obama, basically, Joan Walsh and Ana Marie Cox were saying his statement wasn’t good enough and it was just going on and on like that. Stupid stuff.

    I hope we can all come together, and at least try to get the same message. I will try, if you will.

  • Leigh

    Thanks for the link. I know I can’t be the only one who’s simultaneously furious and devastated by this, and we can’t take it lying down anymore. Intelligence, common sense, and dignity will win over ignorance, violence, hate, and oppression–it always has and always will.

  • Jeanne

    Hmmm … Alabama’s “Ten Commandments Judge” was quite notorious and either considered “Teh Wacky” or “The Next Coming of Moses” depending on who you talked to. I leaned toward wacky. Does he have any chance of winning and becoming your governor? This question comes from someone who’s state has Ahnold as the Governator — not to mention that I voted for Larry Flynt in that election because I thought he was a brillian businessman and could actually fix the state.

    Regarding Democrats (who I see as pretty moderate) and liberals in general, it seems to me that as disorganized as we are as a group, many individuals have great things to say but aren’t being heard. How is it that one loudmouth like Rush Limbaugh gets so much attention but Al Gore does not? Rush spews nothing but crap while Gore is talking about the potential end of the world and people listen to Rush!! I am tired of hearing labels such as “whiners” and “bleeding hearts” when “teh crazy/wacky/stupid” just don’t give a shit about anyone.

    As far as the “faux-lifers” go, they don’t care about the unborn nor do they care about women in general — all they want is control. Who cares about the kid after it’s born — let the state take care of it. And then when he’s 18 and ages out of foster care, send him off to war!!

    I’m done.

  • Matt Osborne

    veralynn, hold down the ALT key and then type 0153 on the number pad to the right.

    Annette: I'm fed up enough to start shouting.

    Leigh: Thank YOU for the courage. Great blog, BTW.

    Jeanne, luckily Moore doesn't stand much chance. We might be Alabama, but we ain't that stupid. Last time he ran he lost the primary; this time, he could conceivably run on a third-party ticket (he doesn't make a party identification on his site). He's spoken glowingly in the past of the so-called "Constitution Party." Such a move would certainly split the conservative whackjob-vote and might even give Alabama a democrat…perhaps Artur Davis? That would be a change: Alabama's first black governor!