Osborne Ink » Television

If Amos’n Andy Were White …

Emilia1956 — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:00:13 +0000

Remember Amos’n Andy, that television show in the 1950s with an all-black cast? Did you ever wonder what Amos’n Andy and all their friends and associates would be like if they were white?

Here they are, from both sides of the political spectrum:-

Amos … He was always the sensible one.

Andrew Brown (Andy) … always with a big cigar.

Kingfish … always the big mouth with the gift of the gab.

Sapphire, Kingfish’s wife. Need I say more?

Mamma, Sapphire’s mother and Kingfish’s mother-in-law. You can just imagine.

Calhoun the Lawyer … incompetent shyster.

Ruby Begonia … does her name strike a familiar note?

Sarah’s Reality

Matt Osborne — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:00:06 +0000

She’s flirted with tea party televangelism; now she wants her own reality show. Somehow, it seems to me the natural end of the Sarah Palin story is a non-reality-based “reality show.” Think “John and Kate” with extra moose-hunting.

What’s sad is that she actually sees this as a step up in the world.

Of course, Celebrity Barbie has no capacity for self-examination, which is why she will never know that her sad paranoia and diva attitude piss people off. It’s the second coming of Anna Nichole Smith.

Teh Train Wreck™ continues off the rails and long past Denial Station.

Kill Your Television

Matt Osborne — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:00:00 +0000

It seems the big, new threat is your old, heavy television. The rate of injury by falling TV sets has hit a new high:

A team from the Center for Injury Research and Policy at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Ohio reviewed data from 100 emergency rooms and estimated that about 14,700 furniture-related injuries occurred each year between 1990 and 2007 – almost half due to TV sets, the most common article involved in the accidents – and resulted in about 300 deaths.

The research, published in October in the journal Clinical Pediatrics, showed that the number and rate of injuries to youngsters from falling furniture increased significantly over the period. The rate generally rose from 18.8 per 100,000 people in 1990 to 22.9 in 2007, peaking at 25.7 in 2004.

As I’ve been warning all of you for years now, your TV really is out to kill you.

Fringe Returns Thursday

Matt Osborne — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 01:00:00 +0000

Leaving aside the subject of politics (fringe and all), I am totally stoked that Fringe returns Thursday night.

In case you missed the season finale, here it is. If you missed the whole damn season, then dive right in and watch it anyway. You can also click here to buy it.