Sarah Palin Doesn’t Vomit On Camera
Aug 9, 2010 Sarah Palin 2012, Sarah Palin's poltical future, Sarahpalooza, sarah palin
therefore she showed her coolness under fire from impolitic liberals/progressives who probably hang out with terrorists. See how that works?
Tags: sarah palin
Sarah Palin’s Rider
Apr 14, 2010 Sarah Palin's poltical future, sarah palin
Ever since I made my first Sarahpalooza! video at her book signing in Birmingham, I have wished to see Sarah Palin’s rider. Yesterday, part of it leaked via some enterprising college kids aware of Supreme Court precedent and a helpfully incompetent secretary. The internet is abuzz with revelations: she’s made $12 million since leaving office, meaning she obviously quit to cash in. She requires bendy-straws and a private jet (first-class tickets if the appearance is abroad). None of the diva-stuff surprises me, least of all this at the beginning:
Due to the Speaker’s professional endeavors and high profile, arrangements of the highest order are necessary for the maintenance of the Speaker’s security and the security of the audience. Customer agrees to provide security arrangements as deemed necessary by the WSB and the Speaker.
Sarah is not afraid of some liberal assassin. In terms of personal security, she has more to fear from infatuated crazy men than liberals. What actually scares Sarah is her own foot in her own mouth caught on camera. For example, the rider requires all audience questions to be pre-screened; her show on FOX consists of reading from a teleprompter to introduce segments. Audiences are prevented from bringing cameras or cell phones into venues.
This, and not fear for her life, is the reason police presence was at least three times bigger and private security far more ubiquitous for Palin than it had been for Mike Huckabee the day before. It is also why every FOX affiliate within 200 miles sent vehicles to occupy the space where Huckabee’s bus had sat the day before.
Sarah’s rider also contains diagrams for how photo opportunities should be arranged to speed up the line. At $10,000 a pop, it pays to get as many suckers through the door as you can.
Palin’s Party Prattle
Mar 23, 2010 Republican Front Groups, Republican Party, Republicans Meet The Teabag Terror, Sarah Palin 2012, Sarah Palin's poltical future, Sarahpalooza, Teh Train Wreck™, The Teabagger Fail, republicans, republicans suck, sarah palin
Sarah wants a new third party to, y’know, make Republicans have to debate harder an’ stuff:
ThinkProgress has a list of her statements about a third party; up til now she has taken the more popular position among teabaggers that the movement shouldn’t form its own party. But Sarah was never good at that consistent-thought thing, and she’s always eager to grow her personality cult one way or another.
Yes, Republicans, your creation will now go to war with you. Bad enough it was shouting insults and spitting on Congress members over the weekend; now it’s going to take all those RNC-supplied signs and attack you with them. But keep it up! You’re doing great!
Sarah’s Reality
Mar 4, 2010 Sarah Palin 2012, Sarah Palin's poltical future, Sarahpalooza, Teh Train Wreck™, Television, sarah palin, sarah palin's wardrobe
She’s flirted with tea party televangelism; now she wants her own reality show. Somehow, it seems to me the natural end of the Sarah Palin story is a non-reality-based “reality show.” Think “John and Kate” with extra moose-hunting.
What’s sad is that she actually sees this as a step up in the world.
Of course, Celebrity Barbie has no capacity for self-examination, which is why she will never know that her sad paranoia and diva attitude piss people off. It’s the second coming of Anna Nichole Smith.
Teh Train Wreck™ continues off the rails and long past Denial Station.
Sarahpalooza! II: Convention Crashing
Feb 8, 2010 Morning Video, Samsara of Wacky™, Sarah Palin's poltical future, Sarahpalooza, Teh Train Wreck™, The Teabag Terror, nontroversy
The revolution will be monetized.
Sorry about the audio quality at two points; there’s nothing I can do until such time as Teh Evil Plan™ sees fit to cut me a fat check to buy better equipment.
If you haven’t read my account of what happened as we tried to leave, you should.
Here’s the first Sarahpalooza for comparison:
Scammy Smell Smites Silly Sophist
Jan 12, 2010 Right Online, Sarah Palin's poltical future, Sarahpalooza, Teabag Terror, Teabaggers, The Teabag Terror, The Teabagger Fail, astroturf politics, sarah palin, wingnutosphere
I’ve been forecasting this meltdown since last April. From Alan Colmes’s Liberaland, we learn that tea party panjandrum Erick Erickson will not attend the astroturfers convention in Nashville because it “smells scammy:”
I am afraid Sarah Palin is going to harm herself unintentionally over this tea party convention in Nashville.
Full disclosure: I have asked several of the tea party organizations that, early on, I was supportive of to stop using my name and RedState’s logo. I think the tea party movement has largely descended into ego and quest for purpose for individuals at the expense of what the tea party movement started out to be.
That’s not to say it is in every case. I have much good to say about groups like Tea Party Patriots, but I think this national tea party convention smells scammy.
Let me be blunt: charging people $500.00 plus the costs of travel and lodging to go to a “National Tea Party Convention” run by a for profit group no one has ever heard of sounds as credible as an email from Nigeria promising me a million bucks if I fork over my bank account number.
To me, the most hilarious and telling aspect of teabagging is the self-deception necessary to believe nonsense — for example, that Sarah Palin isn’t a paranoid ignoramus bent on soaking up speaking fees. Erickson doesn’t seem to notice that his party (and it is, once again, his Republican party) has long since become a for-profit scheme.
I think the tea party movement has largely descended into ego and quest for purpose for individuals at the expense of what the tea party movement started out to be.
The “movement” was never what he wanted to imagine. Teabaggery is just the latest iteration of the same right-wing get-rich-quick scam, and that’s all it ever was.
Sarah’s Hand Signals
Nov 30, 2009 Sarah Palin's poltical future, sarah palin
I caught this pic over at HuffPo, provenance unknown, and immediately wondered if Sarah was signaling a confederate about how many mooseburgers to serve for lunch.
Is she waving with fingertips? Are those “spirit fingers”? Does she have full command of American Sign Language, or is Sarah secretly implanting hypnotic suggestions with gangsign?
I don’t know, and actually don’t care. But the AP caught a photo that makes her look her age, for once, and suggests she’s past the peak of her sex appeal. With her poll numbers already hollow, we may have seen the peak of Palin fever.
Sarah Palin is a Wingnut
Nov 19, 2009 Sarah Palin's poltical future, Teh Train Wreck™, sarah palin
So Sarah Palin gives a shout-out to the “fair and balanced media folks” in Going Rogue, and surprise! They’re all right-wingers, including racists and rape-apologists along with the Faux Noise crew.
Not only does Palin like Sean Hannity, she went on his show yesterday and finally named three of her news sources: Newsmax, The Frontiersman, and the Wall Street Journal.
Newsmax is, of course, the right-wing news site where John L. Perry fantasized about a military coup against Obama. They also have Richard Poe, who goes on the O’Reilly factor every now and then to dish out George Soros paranoia. Their crackerjack staff has published false information about Obama White House appointees. Yeah, tinfoil hat stuff.
The Frontiersman is the Wasilla newspaper, which I imagine to be a colder, less interesting version of the Times Daily. The Journal is an interesting choice for Sarah: I mean, come on. Really? I’ve sat absorbed in it myself, but it’s way above her reading comprehension level. Then again, she did publish a ghostwritten op-ed in the Journal and the op-ed pages are far to the right of their newsroom, so I guess it makes sense.
This woman’s entire world is made up of right-wing nonsense.
Palin Flakes
Oct 12, 2009 Palin Flakes, Sarah Palin's poltical future, Teh Train Wreck™, sarah palin
It seems Sarah’s reputation for flaky behavior has Republican gubernatorial candidates shying away from inviting her to stump for them. This, after the New York Post reported that she’s not getting booked for speaking engagements because clients think she’s an idiot — an idea reinforced when her 90-minute train wreck in Hong Kong was universally panned.
Meanwhile, insiders say her book trashes Levi Johnston because you couldn’t see that coming.
Ladies and gentlemen, the GOP’s leading candidate for 2012.
Shoot The Messenger
Aug 4, 2009 Sarah Palin's poltical future, Teh Train Wreck™, sarah palin
I’ve formed a hypothesis that political damage-control is really about managing the stages of grief. Rumors of a Palin divorce are only interesting to me as a study in deconstruction; I am testing my theory. To wit: the Sarah Palin Express whistled right past Denial Station Saturday and shot straight towards Anger City in the wee hours of Sunday morning.
The conservative blogosphere outed the pseudonymous blogger yesterday evening with lots of self-congratulations. His Facebook page was reproduced online. Yes, it is shoot-the-messenger time as they dehumanize and demonize him:
During the day, the mysterious beast is a major influence on young minds in an Anchorage kindergarten. At night, he spews hatred, venom and lies — mostly directed at former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, her husband Todd and their five children. No wonder so many Alaskans are home schooling their kids. Were we in the 49th State,we wouldn’t want such a creature shaping the minds of our precious offspring, either. (Emphasis mine)
Palin’s lawyer, Thomas Van Flein, publicly vowed to sue the blogger if the offending post was not removed by 3 pm Saturday. But so far, he has taken no action. This is the fourth time in three weeks he has made such empty threats.
Why no follow-through? My gut tells me that it’s a simple fact about American law: truth is a defense against libel. Gryphen remains adamant that his sources are solid, saying:
Van Flein is forcing me to make an admission that I have resisted addressing for the four plus years I have had this blog.Yes I DO work in a Kindergarten class during the school year. My main job affords me some time during the day and I have chosen to use it teaching children to read, and helping them to become more independent. I do it because it brings me joy to work with these children and I believe, and have been told, that I am very good at it.Hopefully that does not diminish me in the eyes of my visitors.I NEVER discuss politics with my children and they have no idea, nor do most of the adult staff, that I am a blogger. Because to be honest that might diminish me in THEIR eyes.So thanks to Van Flein you now know my dirty little secret. I am an assistant teacher in a room full of five year old children.Understanding my love for my job and my desire to protect my children from a potentially frightening encounter, Van Flein threatened to serve my summons “at the kindergarten where you assist”. He did not say the “school where you work”, he specifically mentioned my classroom in order to frighten me into compliance. Why else would he have said that?
Gryphen’s entire post is worth reading.
Next stop for Teh Train Wreck™: bargaining. This promises to be the most entertaining portion, as some details become self-evidently true and the Palins are forced to redraw the limits of their narrative.
More as this story develops.
