Morning Awful: FAUX Noise
Jul 26, 2010 Breitbart, Faux Noise Channel
The White House had a staged feud with FAUX Noise last year. They should stop firing Yosi Sergeant and Van Jones and start attacking FAUX Noise as the channel of Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Bill O’Reilly — all of whom continue to pretend Andrew Breitbart is a legitimate journalist.
Tags: Glenn Beck
Faux Edit
May 25, 2010 Faux Edit™, Faux Noise Channel, Faux Noise™
This is why I call it FAUX Noise: they edited the applause out of the president’s West Point speech. Cadets cheering Teh Obamanon™ doesn’t fit the narrative, you see. Murdoch’s agit-prop shop doesn’t do journalism, but the “liberal media” jumps to defend it.
The FOX News Memory Hole
Apr 14, 2010 Faux Edit™, Faux Noise Channel, Faux Noise™
Jason Linkins at HuffPo took note of the FOX News website’s attempt to purge the image of teabaggery:
PETOSKEY, Mich. — The Tea Party Express has toured state after state trying to kick up a debate about constitutional rights and cast doubt on the legality of the recently passed health care overhaul, all with an eye toward the 2010 elections.
But while organizers have held the tour as a way to stay front-and-center as a political force, the rallies have also attracted the kinds of mistruths, exaggerations and conspiracy theories that make Tea Party leaders cringe. Though the movement is still trying to shore up its credentials as a grassroots power that’s here to stay, the so-called “fringe” and its accompanying antics continue to give critics fodder.
Just as the astroturf organizations have sanitized their image, the Tea Party Express has managed to remove the most disgusting signs from its magical mystery tour. Yet, as we saw on Easter Sunday, there’s still plenty of ugliness and insanity on offer at a TPE event…and very little in the way of facts.
FOX is still whitewashing. After all, if you actually ejected the John Bircher stupidity from Murdoch’s signal you’d have to lose Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, both of whom have big contracts with FOX.
The Little Tent
Mar 19, 2010 Faux Noise Channel, Faux Noise™, Glenn Beck
Roger Ailes wants Faux Noise employees to stop dissing Beck:
“For the first time in our 14 years we’ve had people apparently shooting in the tent, from within the tent,” TVNewser quotes Ailes as saying to the Washington bureau. “Glenn Beck does his show and that’s his opinion. It’s not the opinion of FOX News and he has a right to say it. We prefer people in the tent not dumping on other people in the tent.”
For the first time in television history, a John Bircher tees off the primetime lineup on a major news network. The “tent” is a circus of paranoid delusion, but don’t mind the evil clown in your midst — he’s entitled to his opinion.
Kristol Quoted
Mar 10, 2010 Chris Wallace, Faux Noise Channel, Faux Noise™, Willam Kristol, neocons, wingnutosphere
An exercise in surrealism via ThinkProgress:
WALLACE: Bill, you certainly are an expert in this area. The two leading candidates seem to be the current prime minister, Nouri al-Maliki, and the original prime minister [Ayad] Allawi. From the U.S. point of view, who would we rather see?
KRISTOL: I honestly don’t know.
Kristol, of course, follows with flummery about how he just knows the election is a good thing; yet he never actually says the name of either candidate even though Wallace has just used them, and certainly never deigns to offer much of an opinion on either of them.
But to address the eloquent ignorance of William Kristol as an “expert” is just too much for words. He’s the most consistently wrong human being on television. He’s the man who suggested Sarah Palin to John McCain, said there would be no religious violence in Iraq months before the religious violence began, and occasionally says things that are the opposite of true.
The real question is why Kristol still gets asked to come on television, even right-wing television. You would think he would be among those purged for the Bush failure; you would imagine a sane, sensible right-wing media machine would stop using someone so tainted with fail.
But if you thought that way, you wouldn’t be a conservative.
Noise Machine Takedown
Mar 4, 2010 Faux Noise Channel, Faux Noise™, Jon Stewart, nontroversy
Jon Stewart skewers the Faux Noise fear factory.
The Teabagger Fail
Feb 22, 2010 CPAC, Faux Noise Channel, The Teabagger Fail
Faux Noise minimizing the impact of Ron Paul on its party:
Paulites are a big reason for the reenergizing of the conservative base. They came up with the “tea party” meme a long time ago and have essentially had it ripped away by the astroturfers. A circular firing squad is forming, but not on the left.
Dear Glenn Beck: The Meaning of “Barack”
Feb 5, 2010 Culture Wars, Faux Noise Channel, Faux Noise™, Glenn Beck, Kulturkampf, Obama Derangement Syndrome, Obama antichrist, Obama smears, Obama's middle name, Scare Words, progressives
Okay, that’s it Glenn. You’ve gone too far:
BECK: He chose to use his name, Barack, for a reason. To identify, not with America — you don’t take the name Barack to identify with America. You take the name Barack to identify with what? Your heritage? The heritage, maybe, of your father in Kenya, who is a radical? Really? Searching for something to give him any kind of meaning, just as he was searching later in life for religion.
Meanings of barack and derivations: to kneel, to bless, to invoke blessings, to sanction, to be blessed, to enjoy or find pleasure or delight, to ask a blessing, to seek a blessing, to be praised, to be sublime.
A bierka is a pool or small pond, which is a sacred item in desert cultures. Check the Old Testament and you’ll find that Hebrews had some harsh treatments for anyone who poisoned a well; it was considered a crime against humanity.
There are other nouns based of the root barak: blessing, benediction, bounty. There is a negation meaning “misfortune” or “bad luck.” There are several parts of speech made from the root: when an Arab needs congratulations, you should say mabrook.
This information comes from from my taxpayer-supplied copy of the Hans-Wehr Dictionary of Modern Written Arabic, which still smells of Kuwaiti sand.
Glenn, I understand your problem: you are a clown with a circus. You are forced to top yourself each and every weekday. Every morning, you must pray to god for inspiration to top the boiled frog episode. This would just be entertainment if not for the fact you serve a rotten agenda: to rally racists, idiots, lunatics, and otherwise good Christians to the banner of the Republican Party.
Not that I mind; you’re helping to marginalize your own side. But along the way, you’ve stolen the act of every wacknoggin in the history right-wing media from Alex Jones to Father Coughlin, and now you’re channeling Jack Van Impe. You never know what the hell you’re talking about because your reading list consists of John Bircher paranoia, Atlas Shrugged, and — apparently — Hal Lindsey. Not a far stretch for someone who believes in golden plates and spirit-wives, I know — but still, it would all be fine except for the part where you constantly fill the heads of millions with this kind of dangerous garbage.
Glenn, you’re pandering to religious extremism and invoking the culture wars somewhere they absolutely don’t belong. I get the timing, because religiosity is hot: first there was Brit Hume, then Rush Limbaugh, and of course we have the highly-questionable testimony of Tim Tebow’s mom coming up in the midst of the f***ing SuperBowl this Sunday.
But this is really, really dangerous. You are telling your cult of worshipful know-nothings that the president serves the dark side, and by doing so you encourage very un-Christian divisions. Fear and hate are the tools of darkness. The truth is that YOU serve the dark side, Glenn. Your entire line of attack on Obama is psychological projection, like when you call Obama a “racist” and then pander to racism.
In fact, as long as we’re on the subject of things you project, consider your employer’s cozy relationship with the Chinese communist party. Hey, look — I connected YOU to actual, living, breathing, non-imaginary commies in one step — and without a chalkboard prop to make people think I maybe know what the fuck I’m talking about.
As long as I’m on a roll: the president might have changed his name to Joe Wilson or Bobby Jindal; but he instead chose to keep his birth name “not (as) some assertion of my African roots … not a racial assertion. It was much more of an assertion that I was coming of age. An assertion of being comfortable with the fact that I was different and that I didn’t need to try to fit in in a certain way.”
Get that, Glenn? Barack Hussein Obama kept his name because America is already enlightened enough to vote for a black man with a funny foreign name. Which just goes to show that you’ve already lost. The most you and your colleagues in the wingnutosphere can hope to accomplish is to make it as likely as possible to come to violence — just like the fight against progress did in the 1860s and 1960s.
Oh, which reminds me of one other thing: I’m sick of you pretending to know what “progressive” means. You’ve filled up endless hours of airtime with horse manure about a movement you don’t understand one tiny bit. I’ve done a better job of explaining the history of the progressive movement in a five-minute rock video than you have done in your entire career:
We’ve all been in those mind-numbing, stomach-churning, sleep-inducing conversations with people whose brains seem to be smaller than their mouths. They’re always endlessly long, painfully agonizing and hopelessly futile. I’d attempt to get past the screeners and tell you all this myself, Glenn, but it would be pointless. Just grow the hell up, you stupid racist bastard.
Obama Versus Teh Librul Media™
Nov 25, 2009 ABC, Faux Noise Channel, Faux Noise™, Rupert Murdoch, Teh Librul Media™, The New York Post
The New York Post caught this photo of the president getting into a Secret Service vehicle with a copy of this month’s GQ Magazine. It happens that the president’s face is on the cover. The picture showed up on Inside Edition last night and the Post print edition this morning. By this afternoon, a jammie-wearing fool had declared: “Nothing like stroking your ego on the way to the golf course.”
The wingnutosphere produces so many contradictory narratives. “Obama is so narcissistic, he got a subscription to GQ and got elected president just to be on the cover” doesn’t quite square with “Obama is too humble when meeting the Emperor of Japan.” Yet rationalization comes easily to wingnuts, and the media has a vested interest in the Obama failure narrative. This is classic stovepiping.
The Post is the Faux Noise of New York metro-area newspapers. It is owned by Rupert Murdoch, the man who reinvented Faux Noise with Fox News Channel. Behind the sex and celebrity obsessions of the Post’s front page, its coverage leans aggressively right. Inside Edition is owned by ABC, the network that gave you John Stossel.
Somebody tell me where the “liberals” are in this story.
Pinning A Win
Nov 19, 2009 Faux Noise Channel, press failures
Watching this first half of Major Garrett’s interview with Obama for Faux Noise, it’s abundantly clear that Garrett chose the “lightning round” pacing in hopes of pinning Obama to commit on issues that haven’t worked their way through Congress. It’s also clear that Obama’s way too smart and capable of a speaker to fall for such juvenile tactics.
Garrett keeps asking whether Obama is “disappointed” because Faux Noise is desperate for an Obama disappointment to hang their hat on. Here’s the rest:
Garrett keeps asking whether Obama is “disappointed” because Faux Noise is desperate for an Obama disappointment to hang their hat on. Here’s the rest:
