Midday Thought: 99 Strides

From the Editor

The one strenuous PT exercise I seem capable of anymore is walking; lawn cutting and hedge-trimming are as much as I can stand to do for strenuous upper-body exercise, and they are what I do for most of my income these days. No gym.

So this morning I broke out my ranger beads and rehearsed a basic trick I learned in (of all things) basic training: walk 100 meters counting how many times your left foot strikes the ground, then do the same on the right foot.

Average the two.

What’s left is your 100-meter pace. Got it?

Then I looked up the distance from “hallowed ground,” and just by eyeballin’ that Google map wit’ mah mad land nav dead-reckoning skillz, it shoore do look like this ign’rant enlisted boy would need to march right on 500 feet, or (in the reality-based universe of my calculator, right on 152.40 meters). Which means this good fer-nuthin’ disabled vet needs to march 152.40 meters to get from ground-zero territory to the safety of the place where he might worship.

I’ll have my atheist readers shut up for a moment: I earned my disability rating defending the right of any American to pray at ground zero, including the families of Muslim 9/11 victims. You’ll excuse me if I take this issue a bit personally.

See, if I was walking directly to the 52nd Street Community Center — still close enough to give Sarah Palin offense — I would need about 99 strides to reach it from the holier-than-thou-of-holies.

Ninety-nine strides. At a marching pace.

Maybe 100 is enough for Newt Gingrich? Or most of the staff at NRO?

Now I want to go to New York City and make a video of myself marching across Manhattan asking strangers if they think I’ve walked far enough for a mosque to be built.

About Matt Osborne

Veteran blogging the culture wars from Alabama. Video journalist, mash-up artist, aspiring novelist, and metalhead. Expect bunnies, geekery, dark humor, and snarky empirical analysis to annoy idealists of all stripes. You can follow me on Twitter, but be ready 'cause it might get loud.
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