BeckStock Blogotubing

My one man coverage of the gathering of the Beckerheads begins! Will update after I get my coffee…

Wow, a two-hour coffee break? Not really! FUCK COMCAST. These mysterious internet outages are the main reason I’m getting out of this apartment. Assuming that I can stay online, I’ll pick up now with the Reverend C.L. Jackson, awarded a medal to soaring Olympic music who has so far called Glenn Beck a “man of God…son of God” at least twice and connected this event to the “dream” speech for the audience. Followed by a voiceover from Beck while white people fan themselves.

Tony LaRussa steps up to award the medal for “hope.” Not the man from hope, of course, but a medal. When the awardee Allen Bujols (baseball player) steps up to the mike, he’s got nothing but accented praise for Beck and Jesus because they are they same thing.

“That is America. That is charity. That is American charity.” Beck’s voiceover comes with Depression-era photos: “today, charity has been lost,” he says, defining it as church or family-provided. “Real” charity sets man free because it comes without that pesky GOVERNMENT. Get it? The honoree, Jon Huntsman, has been married for fifty years and has 56 grandkids, making him slightly less fecund than an Amish patriarch. Having built a family fortune on fast-food containers, he has donated bazillions of dollars for cancer hospitals, universities, and so forth. And he’s Mormon, too, apparently, which explains why Beck would know about him. “Charity is not tax deductible, it’s not about getting your name recognized on a plaque.” This at a “charitable” event awarding medals. A black woman steps up to accept the award “in the name of Jesus Christ” and to praise Beck as “one of our most trusted and honored citizens.”

Beck’s voiceover lecturing about the MLK dream speech to bored-looking, overheated white people? Classic! Playing MLK’s speech aloud? Perfect! But that is NOT 300k people.

Beck wants us to meet two people who are “at risk” for saying what they believe. The first is Dr. Alveda King, yet another African American wind-up toy. Conveniently named for her uncle, the late Dr. Martin Luther King, she offers yet more praise to the deity and asks the crowd to “rebuild” America. A line of black people then walks onstage so Angelica Tucker can sing about rebuilding minds and hearts — get it?

And after another Comcast blackout, Beck claims “the media” has said the crowd is “three hundred thousand” or “five hundred thousand people.” (“The media” probably includes Wing Nut Daily, I’m thinking?) His anecdote about George Washington shows the man reluctant to govern — a perfect small-government fantasy not grounded in reality.

And with that, Comcast had another fit and I gave up in disgust.

About Matt Osborne

Veteran blogging the culture wars from Alabama. Video journalist, mash-up artist, aspiring novelist, and metalhead. Expect bunnies, geekery, dark humor, and snarky empirical analysis to annoy idealists of all stripes. You can follow me on Twitter, but be ready 'cause it might get loud.
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  • http://twitter.com/AlanFors Alan Fors

    Where the heck did you go for coffee? I thought there'd be updates by now.

  • http://twitter.com/AlanFors Alan Fors

    Have you tried reseting your cable modem when you have connection problems? I need to remove power and restore it several times a week with my comcast setup. It's a pain in the ass, but usually works every time.