Goodbye To The Hummer

Posted on February 25, 2010 by Matt Osborne

General Motors has given up on selling the Hummer brand to China. Meanwhile, the Army will not buy any more of them after 2011 as they move to mine- and rocket-resistant vehicles.

As one of those procurement decisions made under Carter, the High-Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle (HMMWV) replaced the old WWII-era Willys Jeep during the 1980s. Having operated several models of it over the course of my nine years in uniform, I can testify to this vehicle’s remarkable utility; I once took an M1030 model up a 40-degree slope with a 2,500-lb electronics shed on it. (That’s the very system I’m talking about there on the right.) The HMMWV can literally go anywhere.

Being designed for middle- and high-intensity conflicts, however, the humvee was never supposed to be a combat mainstay. Ironically, low-intensity conflicts require vehicles to carry more armor, not less, as ambush tactics predominate.

But what always stuck in my craw was that taxpayers shelled out $50,000 for a stripped-down military version with no A/C and a three-speed transmission while civilians could get the fancy version for roughly the same price. So now that the Army isn’t buying them anymore, I expect they’ll do exactly what they did with the Willys Jeeps: sell them. As a kid I saw ads for surplus jeeps priced to move. If that happens again, I might just buy a hummer.

Y’know, to prep for the zombie apocalypse. Or for mud-riding.

About Matt Osborne

Veteran blogging the culture wars from Alabama. Video journalist, mash-up artist, aspiring novelist, and metalhead. Expect bunnies, geekery, dark humor, and snarky empirical analysis to annoy idealists of all stripes. You can follow me on Twitter, but be ready 'cause it might get loud.
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  • Joey Pepperoni

    These surplus Hummers could be used to smuggle illegal aliens from south of the border – thousands every week. Displaying Obama stickers would make it that much easier to do. Then, the Dems and GOP-ers can compete with each other for support from the many new potential voters.

  • http://www.osborneink.com OsborneInk

    Right. They're in it together. It's all part of Teh Evil Plan™.

    Please don't hang about in my blog comments section shouting “Teh Mexicans R Coming™.” I really don't like banning trolls.

  • Joey Pepperoni

    So sad to see the slow death of free speech in the country. Does one lose troll status if he starts toeing the “progressive” line?? Q: How do you know when the Chinese are moving into the neighborhood? A: The Mexicans get car insurance.

  • http://www.osborneink.com OsborneInk

    1) You're blacklisted for disgusting racist asshattery. 2) Don't you dare yelp about free speech; freedom of the press belongs to he who owns the press and this is MY domain. 3) The way to avoid troll status is to NOT leave disgusting racist asshat comments in my blog. You want my respect for your opinion? HAVE A RESPECTABLE OPINION.

  • http://politicalpartypooper.wordpress.com/ Politicalpartypooper

    I'm itching to get my hands on one of the HMMWV'S, too. I always did love the name of this thing, especially the “wheeled vehicle” part.
    I have a washed-out ravine just waiting to be conquered…one that to date, no other vehicle has beaten.

  • http://www.osborneink.com OsborneInk

    They are lots and lots of hilarious fun to drive. One time I was driving through the “dinosaur country” in the back 40 of Ft. Hood when the platoon sergeant in the passenger seat told me to stop. I pulled up just past one of these chalky hillocks topped with tough trees. There was a longhorn steer hiding on the other side, and when the platoon sergeant saw its eyes about two feet on the other side of the canvas he calmly yelled “DRIVE.” This took us straight up onto a rock and do you know the next five minutes were very exciting but I only remember the platoon sergeant saying “OH JESUS” when I jumped out of the wash and onto a road.

    Welcome back, PPP.