in Kulturkampf

Roy Moore is Bringing Teh Wacky™ Back

Roy Moore says he is “very inclined” to run for governor in 2010. Yes, our very own Ten Commandments culture warrior is back, and this time he means business. Moore will be accepting PAC contributions he refused in 2006 when he ran against fellow Republican Bob Riley, who just wasn’t right-wing enough for Moore. Along with that lesson, Moore seems to have learned a few things from reading up on George Wallace:

Moore said he hasn’t decided on a theme if he runs, but he said he’s thinking along the lines of: “It’s time to stand up for Alabama. We have serious threats from Washington, D.C. – serious threats on our rights and liberties.”

If that sounds familiar, it’s because Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace built his long career with the slogan “Stand Up for Alabama” and coupled it with harsh criticism of the federal government. (Emphasis mine)

Gosh, see what happens when you read a book that’s not a bible? You learn to better frame Teh Wacky™ for effective soundbites. Yay!

Moore’s 2006 campaign was an undisciplined mess of confused befuddlement at actual, y’know, issues, because Moore would always put Teh Wacky™ first. When asked a question on millage rates during one debate, he rambled on for two solid minutes about the ACLU’s “encroachment on liberty.” His entire campaign was one long non sequitur. His new one will be the same non sequitur through the Wallace prism. Yay!

For those readers unfamiliar with Moore’s career, it is a curious story that could only happen in the Alabama of the 1990s. A mere circuit court judge in Gadsden, Moore made his first headlines when he fought to keep a homemade plaque of the Ten Commandments in his courtroom. An instant darling of the televangelists, Moore seized upon that newfound notoriety by running for Chief Justice of the State Supreme Court.

Despite an utter lack of notable achievements until then, Moore’s single campaign pledge — to erect a granite monolith of the Ten Commandments — was enough to win. But it was a short-lived Cinderella story; when he fulfilled the pledge and erected the ginormous graven image, a federal judge promptly ordered him to remove it. Moore refused, and the Alabama Court of the Judiciary removed Moore from office — a decision roundly booed across this reddest of states. We’re rebellious like that.

Moore’s 2006 campaign was bad enough, but now he can try for the attention and support of media twits like Glenn Beck. He’s already reading off the same list of talking points: gummint is big and eeevill, it wants your money, it wants your guns, it wants your bible. Be afraid! Be very afraid! But seeing as how these were Wallace’s lines before they were Beck’s, it comes as no surprise. Just as it’s no surprise to see him run again.


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