Creationist Biology

OMFG. Tonight is a busy night, but I have to share this: I went to my daughter’s parent-teacher conferences today and discovered that her Biology teacher is a rabid creationist.

She teaches the standard methodology of science, allows that the standard models are all based on evolution, and then undercuts the whole enterprise by “teaching the controversy” and “encouraging students to decide for themselves.” She even, in not-so-many words, declared that evolution is ‘just a theory.’

Really? What’s next: is her Health teacher going to let kids “decide for themselves” about Germ Theory? How about a Chemistry class that allows alternatives to Atomic Theory?

While she’s at it, she can just rewrite all the rest of the science textbooks that contradict creationism: Astronomy, Physiology, Physics, etcetera. Better do away with Geometry too, since that contradicts the heliocentric universe of illiterate Levantine shepherds.

Her excuse? The Alabama graduate examinations have no questions on evolutionary theory. So not only are all her teachers ‘teaching to the test,’ at least one test is designed to keep children stupid.

About Matt Osborne

Veteran blogging the culture wars from Alabama. Video journalist, mash-up artist, aspiring novelist, and metalhead. Expect bunnies, geekery, dark humor, and snarky empirical analysis to annoy idealists of all stripes. You can follow me on Twitter, but be ready 'cause it might get loud.
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  • DRock

    I’m still waiting for creationists to prove that it is a theory backed by proven science.

    http://drock02.blogspot.com/

  • Elvis Dingeldein

    Do what I’d do in that situation, Mr. The Matt Osborne: Say something laugh-out-loud funny and wait for this “teacher” to throw her head back in a bawdy guffaw. When her mouth is open wide enough, toss a golf ball in there and wait for her to inhale it into her esophagus. Once neatly snugged in, she’ll begin to experience what we in the Evolution-Based Community call “choking,” in which — due to poor “design” by something obviously less intelligent than a compassionate god — the lungs are prevented the flow of air by a simple obstruction in the shared eating/breathing apparatus. Wait for her to purple up nicely, then administer the Heimlich Maneuver. Or not.

    Repeat until your point is made.